We use milestones to measure our accomplishments, to track our progress at each new stage of our lives. Thus, milestones often take on a certain set of traditional expectations: careers, marriages, owning property. But if you aspire to be a crazy cat lady well before your 30th birthday, your milestones may look a little different. Fortunately, this article is here to help you assess your cat lady journey (and probably remind you that you need another cat!) So, let’s take a look at the milestones that characterise a successful crazy cat lady.
Step One: Get a cat.
First, you get a cat. When considering crazy cat lady milestones, this step is easily the most basic and straightforward. After all, you’ve got to start with at least one initial cat! And rescuing a cat is, hands down, the absolute best way to start. Whether you’re volunteering at a local shelter, adopting a cat from overseas, or rescuing a homeless floof who turns up in your back garden, helping a cat in need is the best way to open your heart to a floofy friend.
However, it’s important to bear in mind that cats are gateway drugs. If you’re a true cat lady, you can’t have just one. And if you start by rescuing cats, you’ll soon realise that— once you’re bitten by the rescue bug— there’s no way to turn it off.
Step Two: Get Another Cat
See what I mean about gateway drugs?? Once you adopt a cat, it takes 2.5 seconds to realise that it really wouldn’t be that much harder to have two cats instead of one. And if you ever step foot in an animal shelter, that decision time gets shortened to the speed of light. Of course, once you have two cats, your life and home are no longer yours, but let’s be honest… it’s a cat’s world anyway. We’re just lucky to live in it.
Step Three: Get Another Cat
If you’re like me, this step may occur because you have a fondness for a particular breed or colour of cat. For example, maybe you’re two cats in but you just really, really want an orange floof. But, let’s be honest, 3 cats really isn’t that much more work than 2 cats… As long as you’re scooping the litter box and looking after them properly (and, crucially, the floofs get along with each other!), there’s really nothing to worry about!
Step Four: Let Your Life be Overtaken by Cats
Opinions on this topic vary but most sources concur that, once you have 3 cats, you have officially crossed into crazy cat lady territory. So, from that point on, you have nothing to lose! From there, you can simply adopt as many cats as your house will comfortably hold and allow yourself to become submerged in floof.
However, if you do so, please be advised that you will now find floof hair in a million unexpected places. No matter how many times you wash your laundry, it will always be covered in fur. No exceptions. You will pull a fresh towel out of the laundry thinking, “I’ve finally sorted it this time!” But no. Not this time and not ever. That towel— and every towel, flannel, and pair of underwear henceforth— will be permanently covered in floof hair.
But hey, it’s a small price to pay if you can change the world for a few cats who truly love and need you.