Sometimes it feels like the world is so focused on the issues faced by unbecoming, ‘independent’ women or minorities that there are people getting left out, people such as myself: the everyday white woman. I have problems too! In fact, I bet I have more problems than any of those other attention seekers!
When I was but an innocent fledgling, I played a game of hide and seek with the family nanny, it took her several hours to find me in my family’s mansion. I was terrified. I even missed dinner that day and had to have the chef prepare me something else later that evening, so don’t think I don’t know what it’s like to miss out on meals because I’ve experienced it too! In some ways I was humbled by this traumatic memory, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to own a house with more than 35 bedrooms in future.
Discrimination happens to all of us, even me; when I was flying down from London they wouldn’t let me bring Thaddeus, my emotional support bearded dragon, with me in my hand luggage, it didn’t matter that I had paid good money for a first class ticket, so I had to charter a private jet. This is discrimination! Most people never have the money to end up in such a situation so they don’t understand, they laugh at me, call me spoiled, yet I’m apparently a ‘snob‘ or ‘racist‘ when I laugh at them for their everyday problems. At least the penthouse flat I’m renting has an extra spare room just for Thaddeus.
‘But I would love to live in a penthouse’ people always tell me. No one understands the inconvenience of living in a penthouse! For starters, delivery drivers never want to come all the way up and leave my order at the door! I only live on the 24th floor, so what’s the big deal?!
Just because I live in a penthouse, it does not make me absurdly rich; I shall to have to start a GoFundMe just so I can survive this month since my parents have refused to transfer me more money. Honestly can’t imagine why they’re being like this; I only spent £200 on cocktails over the weekend! I mean, what am I supposed to do?? It’s not my fault craft cocktails start at £13 per drink! Wouldn’t they feel worse if I was one of those people who— ahem— sorry, I can’t quite even bring myself to say it— visited establishments where cocktails are 2-4-1?? *gags* Anyway, I’ve got to make it through the rest of this month somehow; I have a housekeeper to pay and a Waitrose order to place! I may have to get some new Louboutins too, there’s a crease in my old pair!
So, I can totally relate to experiencing hardship too. Nobody gets just how difficult it is to pay for the upkeep of a designer cat! Honestly, that initial £3000 just to OWN a pedigreed British Shorthair is a drop in the bucket compared to what I spend on her paw-dicure appointments, her purr-sonal stylist, and our cat show entry fees! It’s a full-time job, honestly, but you never find anyone who sympathises with the struggles of pedigree cat mums!
And while we’re talking about mums, I actually can’t bear to speak to my mum right now. My boyfriend and I are going on our first holiday together and she bought us a beachfront villa for the summer but it only has a PARTIAL OCEAN VIEW!!! My life is full of struggles and people should really think twice before they criticise my lifestyle!