If you Hate Immigrants, Save the Environment


Disclaimer: The views expressed within this article are entirely the author’s own and are not attributable to Wessex Scene as a whole.

Immigration. What a scary word. Your stance on it can be the difference between enjoying or hating family gatherings. Politicians can stake their careers on being pro or anti it. A significant portion of the country voted yes because of it. Immigration is the source of much national anxiety, xenophobia and nationalist motivation. But let’s ask ourselves something briefly, who are these elusive immigrants? Where are they coming from? Are they going to convert us all to Islam and make us speak their funny languages? Are they rapists and murderers? Is my family going to be safe if a handful of these mysterious people make their way across our small channel onto our tiny island of 68 million people?

Who really knows anymore, these are all compelling questions and that’s enough for me to make up my mind and say that it’s better to be safe than sorry. I don’t know what type of people are coming here, I speak very bad Muslim and I would rather stay alive and un-raped thank you very much. We need a collective national effort to stop these people from what a very eloquent man in Barking once said about them ‘taking all the jobs and not working them’, causing poverty and all the crisis this country has been facing since global bankers collectively screwed over the world economy in 2008. How are we to deal with such a prescient issue, clearly getting on Facebook and decrying this tragedy, going door to door spraying offensive graffiti and harassing asylum seekers in hotels isn’t working.

What we need is a broader strategy. We know that immigration is a constant, people have always moved from one place to another, we just don’t want them moving to our place. There’s not enough space and we’re full up anyway. What we need to do is stop future immigration before its begun, just like the Future Crimes Division in The Minority Report we need to peer into the future in order to prevent some unfertilised embryo in the third world from being displaced from their home due to freedom bringing drone strikes, western backed dictators or the worst of all, Climate Change.

If you are rather cross about immigrants coming in now, then boy oh boy you’re not going to like the next few decades. This last one has been the hottest since records began and 2020 has been one of the top three hottest years ever. The average global temperature has increased by 1.2 degrees Celsius but up in the Arctic, that’s that cold place up north, there has been an increase of 5 degrees Celsius. Down south in Antarctica some regions registered temperatures as high as 17.5 degrees during their summer. Because of this temperature change it is estimated that over 50 million people worldwide where hit by climate related disasters this year and that 24 million of these people were displaced. All those forest fires in America aren’t just from gender reveal parties. The coral reefs aren’t bleaching because it’s a new fashion trend and sea levels aren’t rising because we pissed off Aquaman. The planet is warming, and these facts don’t care about your feelings, because they’re inanimate. Climate change is coming, and in the next 50 years, perhaps even sooner, it will be the biggest cause of immigration.

This is the reality that we are facing now. Imagine what it will be like in the future. It’s difficult to predict exact figures as climate change will displace people in a number of ways. The most obvious is that regions with already hot climates will become so hot that that they are uninhabitable pushing its citizens into the more temperate ones. Then there comes the issue of water, which according to some companies is not a human right. With lakes and rivers drying up conflict will arise over the one thing we all take for granted. Extreme weather will cause more and more hurricanes, floods and droughts. Homes and societies will be destroyed, so people will have to migrate to new ones. These conflicts will drive even more people from their homes and up into lovely cold, rainy and temperate Britain.

Pretty depressing isn’t it when you think about it. But don’t you worry, because I am an optimist, I have laid out a fool proof plan to deal with the impending doom we face. Listen closely because this plan is incredibly complex and I’m not going to type it down twice. My brilliant plan is, drumroll please, we save the environment. I am sure you are all thinking, why should we save the environment. I mean, what’s it ever done for us? I know, I know, the environment is pretty useless. I mean it doesn’t pay taxes, it doesn’t contribute to society. It’s not going to give you more likes on Instagram or help your favourite football team win the Premier League. All it really does is be our house.

But if we want to stop immigration we’re going to have to save it. That means recycling, eating less  meat, taking the bus instead of driving and walking instead of taking the bus. It means buying your ingredients from more local and environmentally friendly sources, turning off your lights when you’re not in the room and… what was the last one… oh yeah, holding international companies that are responsible for destroying the planet in the first place accountable.

Now the first few things I covered there are all stuff that we can do ourselves. The last one, holding companies accountable, is going to be a little harder. The only thing that can stop an international issue of this magnitude is a national government committed to protecting the planet. Now don’t get me wrong this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our bit, however, Jill from Buckinghamshire building an allotment and switching to composting isn’t going to have the same effect as global policies that aim to reduce carbon emissions.

Let’s look at our current establishments commitment to fighting climate change. It’s pretty abysmal. Now I know that the UK has one of the best records amongst ‘first’ world countries for turning around and kicking climate change in the arse and out the ozone layer. But that’s not saying much considering the fact that globally we are still burning more fossil fuels and dumping more and more plastic in the ocean every year. We may be setting an example but it’s by far not good enough. Politicians are more concerned with fighting current immigration than future immigration. Can you believe it? They clearly have never read this article.

If we want to create change and stop future immigration we need to elect politicians who will implement more radical policies that protect the environment, because this will have much more of an impact on keeping Britain migrant free than a hostile environment policy that deports OAP’s, some of whom who have lived here longer than most of our politicians have been alive. The government’s current stance on immigration clearly isn’t working. It’s time for change, it’s time for us to go green to save future generations from all those scary people from the abroad and keep our minds narrow and our culture bland. I prefer my baked beans without that spicy seasoning they call pepper.

So, next time you’re in a polling booth don’t vote for the nationalists, the xenophobes or the populists. Their methods aren’t working. Vote for those who will save the planet, because chances are they have our best interests and heart. We all know what I mean when I say that.

Benjamin (I-swear-on-my-life-my-parents-came-here-legally) Huaraka


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