A Universe Full of Friends and Foes


Greetings, Earthlings. Never has a group of individuals on God’s green earth become so anxiety-ridden and generally lonely as those who are reading this. As the age of space exploration becomes vaster and more convenient, it won’t be that long until we potentially find something previously undiscovered – sentient life in space. But this does beg the question: extra-terrestrial beings – friends or foes?

Some people believe that we haven’t been contacted by aliens before as the human race is just far too pathetic and stupid for them to bother. If our space exploration changes these aliens’ opinions and they present themselves to us (and don’t immediately resort to destruction), it is almost a guarantee that they will not be our friends. Maybe they are kind, they show us new things, they develop our way of living and existing for the better. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Sounds like something a friend would do. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Extremely intelligent beings are possibly the worst thing we could discover (or that could discover us) dancing amongst the stars. ‘But how can they be so bad if they make our lives better?’ you may ask. Simply, arrogance.

There is always that person who just immediately gets on your nerves because they think (quite rightly) that they are a bit better than you. Imagine that girl with better fashion sense, or that guy who runs the 100m a few seconds faster, or even the blond-haired Tory MP who sits behind the safety of his famous black door and gets away with everything. All of these examples know they are better than you in some way, and, by god, do you feel it. There is no way that an extra-terrestrial being who is so much smarter than humans, having watched from afar as we poke our tin rockets against Earth’s atmosphere and seeing them fall down in flames for centuries, will be kind enough not to openly acknowledge this clear divide in intelligence. They may mock lightly and jest freely, but we know it’s hard to let it slide when it really hits home.

It’s like trying to be friends with the really popular people; while you try to fit in, you feel unworthy and wonder why you even bothered. We already have self-esteem issues as a species, so it won’t get much better if we have a devastatingly superior being let us know. But perhaps these aliens aren’t like that. Perhaps they are still on their dinosaur stage. Colossal beasts that are both calm and ferocious, surviving on their own planet and thriving on it’s natural resources. Obviously a friend, right? Well, no. What does the human race like to do to au naturale creatures? DESTROY THEM.

While there might be a 5-year-old boy dreaming of meeting an alien Brontosaurus, those rich enough to have found one will have already begun preparations to tear apart its planet to obtain the highest profit. The human race is greedy, and not one that really deserves friends. So, while the universe may be full of pals waiting to be discovered, all we should really get is a bunch of hot-headed, arrogant, superior beings to put us into our place.

This is unless real life is just like Doctor Who, and there’s a universe of adventure right within our grasp.


Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.

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