UHS Reports High Number of Assaults on Staff
There has been a high number of reported assault cases by staff, with the real figure expected to be much larger.
→Author: Emily Dennis
Emily Dennis
A philosophy student with a penchant for uncertain puns. Pause Editor 20/21, i.e. a funny sausage
‘Still I Ride’ – Extracts from the Personal Journal of Mr Johnson
Mr Johnson finds time to practice his poetry in his latest diary entry.
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Undirected Message in Group Chat Found to Actually be Super Directed
‘Stop leaving the kitchen in a state,’ because if it’s in quote marks then you won’t think I’ve written this about you.
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The Dissolute Doctor Diaries: Tears, Peers, And New Year Fears
Is that a ghost? Is it giving medical advice? Or has someone just tried to adapt the information they’ve read in a textbook? Who knows!
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University of Southampton Announces New Senior Vice-President (Academic)
Professor Philip Wright has obtained the position of Senior VP (Academic) at the University of→
UK Government Offered Honorary Marketing Degree from UoS
This article is satirical in nature and Marketing students can definitely do better.
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5 Ways to Be an Absolute Legend This Exam Season!
Sick and tired of being a boring bore? There’s no better time to try and become an absolute ledge!
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New Year Just Found! – Scientists Sceptical
What’s that coming over the hill? Scientists wowed to find out it’s not a deathly meteorite!
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Scene’s Pause Christmas Songbook!
Voice notes are available on request.
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Holidays AREN’T Coming, and Here’s Why
Which Yuletide movie has correctly identified why Christmas is cancelled this year?
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