Pets Your Landlord Can’t Dispute


The third national lockdown means we’re all a bit lonely right now, so what better time to adopt a ‘pet’! 1 in 4 Brits impulsively bought a dog in the first lockdown, probably to excuse a cheeky extra outing not condoned by Boris and his mates. Most student landlords unfortunately won’t permit an animal companion though, so here are a few alternatives to keep you company in your cold damp house.

Green, leafy plants

Probably an obvious one – I own many – but a bit of greenery is defo a mood booster. Plus, it breathes! Having to water this pet means a living thing is relying on you to get out of bed! Garden centres are considered ‘essential’ in lockdown so go have a nosey at the different plants and make sure to pick up a funky pot to give Fred or Darren a little character – basically like kitting an animal out with a collar. A few personal plant faves are an aloe vera, a cheese plant or a snake plant – all pretty easily stay alive so you won’t have to worry about being a plant murderer.

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Candle flames

Take a trip to the big Sainos and go get a whiff of the candles. Granted it’s a bit tricky to sniff through a mask, I tried yesterday, but still fun. Light your new amber and patchouli candle and watch the flame flicker. You could kind of consider the fire like a little pet? One that you only have to deal with when you’re bogged down with uni work and can watch it dance around in a little glass pot, or maybe a little company while you lie in the bath watching Netflix.

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Celeb cut outs

This one is kinda fun. A person of your choosing that you can shut away in a wardrobe when you cba to have Phillip Schofield staring you down and guilt tripping you for lying in a pile of Kinder Bueno wrappers watching yet another rom-com. Maybe reenact your own lil Great British Bake Off with Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood. If they don’t think your ambitious ganache is up to scratch then sentence them to the naughty step so they can contemplate their judginess.

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Sea Monkeys

Nostalgic – the small live sea monkey tank we all had when we were younger. Bit of a cheat option but a great solution. Feel like a rebel with your sea monkey tank, real life BREATHING PETS that your landlord will never be able to dispute. An absolute bargain for a tenner, these lil dudes will float around and keep you company. Easily portable, you can put them on the windowsill in your bedroom, living room or maybe even the bathroom. Make sure your housemates are cool with this one though and home them wisely; I have heard through the grapevine some anger and ‘accidental’ disposal through a tip off the kitchen windowsill into the sink.

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Hopefully these pets will keep you company for the rest of this national lockdown and the foreseeable future. You can always sign up for the Borrow My Doggy website if you need some motivation to get some fresh air, but these ‘pets’ are sure to give you a bit of a kick when trying to complete that assignment.


Final year English student and Sub-Editor for Wessex Scene

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