A University of Southampton student – who has been kept anonymous to protect their reputation as a BNOC – has admitted to being addicted to Ribena.
The big Sainos has been regularly selling out of Ribena from their meal deal section. After some confusion from staff about why there has been a sudden spike in sales, specifically at the Portswood branch, security angled their cameras to focus on the small meal deal section at the front of the store. After no offences being committed for almost a week, staff spotted one sneaky BNOC filling up a trolley’s worth of the delightful sugary refreshment.
In an exclusive interview with us over here at Wessex Scene, the Big Name On Campus confessed that whilst other diluting juices are available, none are comparable to Ribena. They explained:
Ribena has always had a bigger-than-blackcurrant sized fragment of my heart. It’s the reason I’m still single, I just can’t find anyone that respects that I will always love the juice more than I love them. Especially since they recently rebranded. Have you seen how vivaciously curvy the new bottle is? It fits perfectly in my hand on the go or compactly tucks into my pocket, only just poking out.
During the interview, the student slipped us a piece of work they’d scribbled down in the hope that their true talent as a poet could be exposed to the Wessex Scene readers.
An Ode to Ribena
I love your coldness on a summer’s day,
I love your warmth on a winter’s eve.
I hate when you give yourself to someone else,
That purple tang teases me,
The way you tickle my tongue never ceases to amaze me.
Robinson’s really doesn’t compare,
You in a meal deal completes me.