Great Britain Renamed Alright Britain

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As the Brexit deadline passes, Great Britain has been renamed Alright Britain to reflect the nation as it leaves the EU. 

This comes after everything is expected to just be worse, from our trade deals and economic prospects to Britain’s already limited global power.

Critics hope that the expected boom in Heinz Baked Beans sales will offset this. The transition of every kebab shop into a beans on toast takeaway is also expected to turn things around.

Other sectors of British society aren’t expected to survive in Alright Britain however, as Sainsbury’s has swapped all their mature cheddar cheese for mild cheddar, Dominoes has been bought by Pizza Hut and, as per the Chancellor’s email, which was recently sent to all students, all University of Southampton students will be transferred to Southampton Solent.

Experts point out that the fate of Jesters, however, is still undecided, as no one is certain if that place truly is the palace of dreams, or is actually utter sh*te.

Some random guy we plucked off the street said

Brexit is happening and you’ve just to accept that, just like I’ve got to accept seeing your vegan bloody sausage rolls in Greggs. (I’m still going to complain about that though, don’t get me wrong).

Someone else said

It’s time we come together. I fought for a people’s vote for years, hoping that we could stop Brexit, but it’s clear that isn’t going to happen. So we’ve got to bridge the divide to heal our wounds for the sake of our nation… Doesn’t mean I’m going to be nice to anyone who voted Tory though.

Plenty of people are pleased that Brexit is happening, including smug conservatives and centrists, as well as everyone else who is just sick of hearing about it.

Political satirists honestly can’t wait for the show either.

 

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