All Hail Boris and His Mighty Brexit Plan
In Brexit news, Pause Editor Tom Ford can confirm everything is fine, move along now.
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Local Man Goes to the Gym, Sits Around a Bit, Then Leaves
Professional gym lad, Kieran Kaye, said that a five-minute break after walking to the gym is well deserved
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A Beginner’s Guide to Dealing with Catcallers
Beth Ablett gives her foolproof plan to dealing with catcalling: ‘wear the clothing equivalent of a bin bag, or, failing that, an actual bin bag’
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The Good Feminist’s Guide to Feminism
‘Bra? Don’t you mean ex-corset-Victorian-breast-restriction-contraption? Burn it’.
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Study Finds the Customer is Never Right
Karens across the country are shocked and disappointed by the findings.
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Residents Ignoring Dam Evacuation say it ‘Can’t be Worse than No-Deal Brexit’
The Whaley Bridge dam evacuation has entered its sixth day following the damage caused last→
5 Top ‘Tips’ to Enjoy This Summer
‘Constantly complain that it’s too hot: ideally, do this every ten minutes or so’
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Boris Johnson’s Brexit ‘Blitz’ Information Revealed
‘Hold your blue passports close, eat your straight bananas and rest assured we’ll probably, maybe, hopefully, dear god, hopefully, get that £39 billion’.
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Scientists discover that ‘this is the darkest most terrible timeline’
With Boris Johnson now as Prime Minister, Dr Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir can confirm that we are living in the darkest, most evil timeline.
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Duolingo Owl Arrested For Online Harassment
Tom Ford covers the fall from grace of another icon known around the world
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