COVID-19 Officially Banned Because Name Isn’t Catchy Enough
Citizens are urged to remember that SARS 2.0 really isn’t that bad, but to donate any extra handgel they may have to their local hospital all the same
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How to Cook up a Sex Life in Under 30 minutes
Things too bland in the bedroom? Follow Emily Dennis’ tips to whip up the perfect sex life, varying ingredient amounts for the number of guests coming for tea
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Varsity to be Replaced with Online PS4 Tournament
Efforts are being made to include Wii Sports games in the tournament.
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Feminists Welcome New International Women’s Men’s Day
The new date for celebration is a hopeful step towards equality.
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How to Break up With Your Partner
Relationships don’t always work out. That’s why Marcus Matthews offers some less conventional ways to break up with your partner.
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How to Handle Coronavirus like an Expert
As the UK population looks back fondly on the days of being able to buy pasta and toilet roll from Sainsbury’s, Emily Dennis gives some top advice for how to deal with Coronavirus
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KFC’s Thread Comparing Football Teams to KFC Menu Items is ‘Finger Lickin’ Good’
Arsenal as the Boneless Banquet? Man United as Fries? KFC’s thread on Premier League teams being KFC menu items is both accurate and comical.
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The UK’s Points-Based Immigration Explained
Kendall Field-Pellow explains the new points-based immigration system which sees +30 points for cooking an immaculate Sunday Roast
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A Satirical Guide to Coming Out
Tom Ford suggests some less traditional ways of coming out.
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Man Says Thing Won’t Happen, Exact Thing Happens
Experts are requesting worldwide silence to stop bad things from happening.
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