Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Accidentally Bump Into Each Other in ALDI
Pestilence reportedly ensured that the two-metre social distancing rules were not adhered to
→Browsing: Pause
It’s Just You Because it’s Not Getting Hot in Here: A Sceptic’s Guide to Climate Denial
Emily Dennis takes us through the latest in climate-sceptic thought and the attractions of the solar system’s hottest celestial body
→
Surviving The Apocalypse: A Beginner’s Guide
As part of the Fake News and Conspiracy magazine, Gaby Puleston-Vaudrey gives some tips on how to survive the apocalypse
→
Fines for Breaking New Lockdown Rules to be Paid for in the Souls of Children
Police hope requiring fines to be paid in children’s souls will reduce the number of breaches to lockdown rules, but then again, no one really likes children
→
Student with all the Time in the World Does F*ck All During Lockdown
Government research suggests that the productivity of students has remained the same during the lockdown because ‘zero times zero is still zero’
→
Matt Hancock Wearing Badge with ‘Twat’ Written on it
You heard about the ‘care badge’, and now Wessex Scene are exclusively unveiling the ‘twat’ badge.
→
Coronavirus Wins Big at Annual Lifestyle Awards
Thanks to the disruption caused by the coronavirus, new businesses have popped up across the country which have been nominated for a number of prestigious awards.
→
The Survivor’s Guide to COVID-19
Toilet roll: check. Hazmat suit: on. A trusty weapon to protect you after the apocalypse: on hand. Jasper Marshall delivers his guide to surviving Covid-19.
→
University of Southampton to Replace all Forms of Assessment with BuzzFeed Quizzes
In response to the news, one student said ‘I’m no fan of BuzzFeed but at least it’s not The Tab’.
→
BREAKING: University Encourages as Much Coronavirus Speculation as Possible
The guidance includes ‘Panic. This is the first step that anyone can take when considering how to act’.
→