New Mayo Flavours Released Including ‘Gross’ and ‘No Thanks’


An infamous brand of condiment kings have recently developed and released new mayonnaise flavours, as if it couldn’t get any worse.

The white, gloopy sauce that is often found marring burgers and meal deal sandwiches has been given a flashy lease of life. New flavours, including tangerine and dill, are being forced into stores across the UK throughout July. Shelves will be fully empty of the four unwanted additions of the condiment aisle and will be be priced similarly to its equally as unwanted original.

A spokesperson for the company who thought it would be a fun idea to make something terrible even worse, has said:

We’re pleased to announce delicious new flavours to our [Somewhat] Okay Mayonnaise range. The four flavours are welcome additions to our popular family and will enhance everyone’s mealtimes into something special, with a serious infusion of extra flavour.

Three of the four flavours are suitable for vegetarians, but not advised due to the fact that they are icky.

Food Blog expert, Marcus Pierre Whine, has posted his own personal disgust for the dangerous exploration into flavour:

Frankly, this is an abomination. I do not approve of this and ask all my followers to stay away from any store that believes this to be an acceptable product to stock. What’s wrong with having your food a bit dry – moistness does not equal tastiness! I’ve only just learnt that people from the North of England put mayonnaise on chips, this is the worst day of my life.

Following a recent poll on Whine’s blog, 89% of people would prefer this revelation to be reversed, with 56% confirming that they think normal mayonnaise is ‘not good’ and infused mayonnaise is ‘really not good.’


Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.

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