Am I In A Porno? A Poem

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I’ve actually never watched porn,

It must be said,

But when the handyman handied,

A thought popped in my head.

 

I was awake early,

Awaiting his call.

Sat atop the stairs,

Dressing gown and all.

Then he knocked on the door,

With rip rap and delight

But I never would have expected

My sweaty, shining knight.

He boot stomped and walked

To the back of my house

Where I sat and watched

Like a cheese-hungered mouse.

He opened my washer

And told me he’d fix

But I just sat on the sofa

I’m not one of those chicks.

Yet, as he was banging around

I couldn’t help but think

Am I in a porno?

God, I need a drink.

When he asked me for tea

I was taken aback

But he meant the liquid

Not the dinner time snack.

When he said it was finished

He just walked out the door

Not even a mention of s*e*x*

Wow, what a bore.

 

So I’m not in a porno

Instead, he did just come to fix

Is that jealousy for my washing machine?

Give that the deep six.

Who knew a thing that would clean

Would make me feel all dirty.

I’m all hot and bothered

And it’s only two-thirty.

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A philosophy student with a penchant for uncertain puns. Pause Editor 20/21, i.e. funny sausage

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