Breaking: UK Government Petitioning for Hokey Cokey as National Anthem


After much deliberation during Brexit and the coronavirus situation, the UK Government have decided that the Hokey Cokey should be the new British National Anthem, since they found themselves blasting it during the warm nights in the Commons.

Many thought the playful shenanigans were over after the Brexit conundrum, but it seemed that they were only the pres to a much bigger party. After voter turnout was pitiful for the the leave/remain campaign, the government decided to try and encourage more of the British public to party alongside them, by enforcing with pretty strict rules that they indeed had to be whole bodies in, and then whole bodies out, instead of the playful right and left legs. Many were consequently left in and out of homes, in and out of business, in and out of their minds.

What is very exciting is to see what will happen regarding the expected shaking all around. Many political scientists have developed theories about a reshuffle of Parliament (though this is unlikely to happen since a Tory Government is almost promised following all those scandals, Jeremy) but there are some who think that the shake will be a lot larger than once anticipated.

One political advisor for the section has claimed that this is ‘not something that they could even think up in their imagination,’ but ‘is very likely to happen.’

It is clear that what will be shook is our entire geography, everything that we think we know. This has already begun with leaving the EU, soon to be all of Europe, but this just isn’t enough for the party animal government. The Hokey Cokey that Britons can expect is one that will mean that each country that makes up the UK will have to switch positions on the map and within the oceans, a real and physical change that is wanted by the leading party. None of this nonsense about state independence, that’s highly unlikely.

After all, it appears that the government just want a bit of fun, and really, that’s what it’s all about.


Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.

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