The jolly holiday figure Santa Claus has been denied entry to the United Kingdom this evening, according to unconfirmed reports.
UK Border Agency is yet to release details of the incident to the press, however, a source close to a junior minister for Immigration and Future Borders has stated that a man meeting the description of Saint Nicholas is currently being held in Brook House Immigration Removal Centre, Gatwick.
According to NATS Holdings, formerly National Air Traffic Services, the air traffic controllers detected an unidentifiable craft requesting to make an unscheduled landing south of the capital city at approximately 20:14 GMT. After security protocol required informing the relevant authorities, officers from the UK Border Force arrived shortly after the rapid touchdown of what was described to be some kind of wooden carriage and possible livestock.
A member of staff at Gatwick Airport who wishes to remain anonymous has alleged an elderly man ‘dressed in red’ was escorted by armed guards while being transported from Gatwick airport. The man we believe to be Santa allegedly shouted about the Home Secretary while being marched out to a vehicle: ‘Priti Patel is on the top of the naughty list, mark my words.’
Our reporter also spoke to a family of four, waiting for their departure to Tenerife, after their flight was delayed unexpectedly. Rachel, 42, said:
We saw it with our own eyes! It was Father Christmas – The Father Christmas – being taken away by security!! Dave and I couldn’t believe it… How are we supposed to tell our little Tiff and James that Christmas is cancelled tomorrow? All we want is a nice getaway from this damned Covid and now this? Father Christmas being arrested in front of us! It’s outrageous! It really is taking the biscuit… or rather the gingerbread.
A spokesperson from Gatwick Safety and Security has issued the following statement:
We have reason to believe that this man who claims to be called ‘Saint Nicholas’ is not a British citizen and since the paperwork he has produced contains a discrepancy with official Government records, we cannot permit him to carry on his journey through the United Kingdom at this point in time. Until this matter has been resolved he will remain at the Brook House facility. This close to the Brexit deadline we cannot afford any security risks at our borders and we do not accept persons who claim to be ‘citizens of the world’. As things stand we plan to prosecute this man under counter-terrorism legislation following what we call a potentially hostile encounter.
A group of campaigners have assembled outside the airport demanding the release of the man. The advocacy group, who’ve named themselves ‘Presents not Passports’, have told Wessex Scene News:
We are certain that the man taken into detention is none other than Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus. The Government has shamefully abused this man’s rights and the fact that they plan to detain him indefinitely is an absolute travesty – indefinite detention is illegal in every other country in Europe… and everyone knows Brook House is an affront to human rights and decency! We are petitioning for his immediate release as well as for a personal apology from the Home Secretary herself as we have reason to believe this was a premeditated operation, planned in response to rumours of her being put on the naughty list this year.
The Home Office has declined to comment.
More updates to follow.