5 Ways to Be an Absolute Legend This Exam Season!


Exam season can be hard for all students and, with the current ongoings, it can be hard to have a positive outlet. So take some time out, have a breather, and relish in your chance to replace the anxieties with the confidence of an absolute mad one!

1. Did I hear party?

Not in my house, I didn’t. What a bunch of losers. Everyone knows that exam parties are the best way to alleviate all those pent-up worries, but why wait until after they are done to celebrate? Blast on the tunes, day and night, and have a proper whompathon. Legends follow in the footpaths of the great, and no successful moonlanding came without some raucous behaviour.

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2. Prank that snack!

Nothing is funnier than someone desperate for the toilet in the middle of an exam. What makes this timeless prank more legendary is if you set everyone else in your house up for it at the same time! Waste half an hour of their online exam as they join the queue you’ve made for the one toilet, which you can block up by having a really intimate shower. Just remember to think about what’s going to happen afterwards and save yourself the nose trauma by buying yourself a bouquet of roses. Roses for the legend.

3. Roast everyone AND everything

Everybody knows that legends are not only hilarious but good at being slightly too on the nose with their comments. Now’s the perfect time to show off your roasting abilities! Tell your housemate that they smell worse than a 15-year-old microwave, that their work is as bad as a monkey with a rifle. Make everyone feel terrible – it’s legendary! Their tears will be of complete hysterics and will have nothing to do with the overwhelming sense of doom that they have been holding deep in their guts. Fancy roasting something else? Try a chicken at 180°C for two hours – maybe even longer! If you over roast then you’ll just be more of a legend because burnt food means fire alarm and fire alarm means lads.

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4. Proofread? More like poopread

As uni is mostly online, exams too will be following suit for quite a few subjects. Timed essays, 3000 assignments, you name it – there is a treasure trove of written work that will be making its way onto the computer screens of university lecturer’s. Maybe you’ve got a friend in your house right now with a classic case of the essays: pacing, running up and down the stairs, nervous chattering, a tired and disgruntled look behind their glazed eyes… You can offer to help them out, while cementing yourself as an absolute legend. While spellchecking and trying to understand the theories that have been shoddily described, you can have a little fun. Add a little swear every now and then, maybe even a ‘banana’ just for pranks. Maybe their grammar will take a hit, but both the lecturer and your pal will be in complete hysterics when mark releasing comes around!

5. Become a temptress and never give up

It is really hard to not procrastinate doing work that you really don’t want to do. It is even hard when people keep asking you to do fun things with them instead of study. Here’s where the legends come in, who know that every waking hour should be dedicated to the sesh. Become the worst influence on everyone. Hunt, chase, stalk your housemates so that they feel obliged to play 11am beer pong with you just so you leave them alone. If they hide away in their room – no worries. Wait outside and jump them when they eventually break to go to the toilet. Tempt them to a life of legends, the books will read themselves.

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Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.

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