Biden to Replace Trump’s Soda Button with Soft Serve Lever


After it was found out that US President Joe Biden had removed the former President’s ‘Diet Coke button‘, many had been left with the question of what, if anything will replace it. While President Biden may not be huge fan of caffeinated carrot juice, it has been found that he is partial to a bit or Mr. Whippy.

News fans were shocked to discover the historic button had been removed from the Oval office, and took to Twitter to announce their confusion.

Apparently, Mr Trump thought there were to only be a ‘certain number of heartbeats’ and any kind of exercise would ultimately shorten your life. However, this view does not seem to be shared by the newest President, who appears happy enough to take himself off to the water cooler when needing some refreshment. However, sneaky little sneakers have sneaked out that there is, in fact, a new installation in place of the famed button. Namely, a lever.

After some critical investigation involving 20m of rubber tubing, a fake ID, and two toilet breaks, it was found that the lever was connected to a large metal box that hummed with a chilled expectation. Inside was found to be enough soft scoop vanilla that would put the big Sainbury’s freezers to shame.

A spokesperson for ex-President Donald Trump has shared some controversial views over the matter:

Diet Coke is the best. I don’t know why you would replace it. Ice cream isn’t even that good.

However, it has also been revealed that Mr Trump has been celebrating the continuation of his legacy. Despite President Biden literally reversing every single thing that was done in the last four years, he has not completely removed the idea of having a quick treat-fix in the Oval office. Mr Trump’s spokesperson has commented that that is ‘pretty good’.


Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.

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