Cocky Student Taught A Real Lesson with Bad Draft Mark

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Unfortunately for some, university courses aren’t able to teach people anything. In the form of digital-regurgitations, many students skip through essay writing subjects simply by wallowing and upchucking module handouts.

However, this was not the case for an unlucky University of Southampton student, who has found themselves on the wrong side of a very bad draft-mark. In a classic game of hijinks, the student, who obviously studies a Humanities subject, thought they’d bish-bash-bosh out a classic 2:1 draft essay, scooping out an extra 250 words on the real thing.

However, nightmares finally became real when they received back a mark that left them feeling literally 50/50 about their degree.

This has left a positive impression on the student. In an exclusive interview, they said that they were ‘pleasantly surprised’ and ‘thought it could have been a lot worse’. They were, of course, talking about their new job as a Postie after quitting uni. The ex-student continued:

I just couldn’t really be arsed anymore. It’s supposed to be easy, isn’t it? I did the same as I always did and followed like a paint-by-numbers plan for my essay, and then it was a 50? Nah, you’re joking. Nah, can’t be bothered with that. Forget those 3:55pm rushes and get behind the 6am traffic, that’s what I’ve learnt.

*While the aim of the news piece was satirical in nature, that doesn’t mean that this kind of drama can’t happen in real life. Try your best and don’t be scared to ask for advice. Which is exactly what I wish someone will say to me right now. Send help.*

Good luck to all students in this current examination period! We all know first-hand how difficult university can be!

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A philosophy student with a penchant for uncertain puns. Pause Editor 20/21, i.e. a funny sausage

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