The Quarantine Guide to… Decorating Your Room Like You Don’t Already Hate It

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Lockdown has meant that many of us have had to stay in one place for many months. Whether it’s your childhood bedroom, your uni room, or someplace fun and fancy free, most have been stuck in one room for far too long and one can only stand the sight of the same four walls until they become physically repulsive.

But it’s not all over! If quarantine has taught us anything, it’s that it is very easy to make a mountain out of a molehill. And the view from up here is one of decor delight.

Rotate things

If you spend all your time in bed, rotate the bed. This means you will be instead staring consistently at a different wall which adds a bit of drama to your life. Do you solely sit at your desk and work? Try rotating the desk! Sitting against the wall instead of facing it will mean that you get a big stare at your room that will soon be its own Cave of Wonders.

Get all green-fingered

A house plant or teeny tiny succulent is usually a student-room staple, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of decorative greenery. What you can do is smush up the plants into a sticky green paste, and use this to paint little fingerprints all over the wallpaper. If you’re renting, consider fingerprinting all of your own belongings, leaving no finger-sized space unfingered.

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Make a canopy

Realise you hate all the clothes you own too? No worries! Simply rip them up and sew/tape/sticky them together and make one large, patchwork sheet. Now you can use this as though a canopy in a jungle-based hideaway, or even put a large pole in the middle to create a tepee effect! Camping has never been so much fun!

Graze

Decorating is one of the fastest ways to set off the metabolism, so maybe take a creative break and let your stomach do the work. Start by nibbling at the desk, then at the bedframe, and see what cool and artsy shapes the furniture starts to make. Within one meal rotation, everything inside the room will begin to feel just like new, and will probably be worth ten times the amount when it comes to upgrading.

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Tidy up

I know when I spend copious amounts of time in my own room, it is likely to get very messy. Especially during lockdown, it has been strewn with small cereal boxes and unfinished crosswords. A good tidy up will reward you with reminiscent memories of when everything was how it was before and will certainly leave you feeling refreshed. But did you know you can also use tidying up as a way to decorate? Simply collect all the rubbish or discarded items and pile them up into a small mound. With the rest of the floor cleared, you now have ample viewing spaces to stare at your centrepiece, a welcome sight for any white-paint-waned eyeballs. A bonus to this is if it grows large enough, you have your own personal mountain to stand on and spout facts about how bats work for the bourgeoisie and that pigeons exist only for pleasure.

Got any helpful tips? Send them in to anybody else who cares for your chance to feature in our newest edition of people who really needed to get an indoor hobby.

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A philosophy student with a penchant for uncertain puns. Pause Editor 20/21, i.e. funny sausage

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